1）Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
2）A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.
He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to
his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
This student got back his test and $64 change.
3）The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the
men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom
brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to
step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who
moved to the right.
“It's good to see, ”said the king,“ that we have one real man in the
kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the
right side of the hall.”
“Your Majesty, ”came the reply in a squealing voice, “it is because before
I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”
4）"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his
employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes
everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go
to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信，先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦，那还好”。老板接着说。
5）Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the
cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my coffee."
“We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he
isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't