A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit
the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the
lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the
officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice
that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation:
"I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very
well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been
operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog
steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had
to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And
I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome
at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here,